My sister warned me that this would happen.
Well she didn’t specifically tell me that Toy Story underwear would make me cry. BUT she did give me some insight into the depth of love that comes along with parenting.
“You aren’t going to love her right away,” she said when I was about 7 months pregnant. “I mean you love them, but it will really just be instinct in the beginning. I don’t want you beating yourself up when you deliver because it really isn’t anything like it is in the movies,” she added.
I was SHOCKED. Silly me thought it was all a whirlwind of love and perfection, when in reality it was a six inch incision through my abdomen from a c-section where I wasn’t actually numb on my right side, and a huge rush of thanks and relief that my daughter was healthy.
“But you just wait…once you two get to know each other, well that is when the unbelievable love sets in. And you just love them more and more, and you will ask yourself if it is possible to love them anymore than you do at that moment – and then somehow you do,” my sister elaborated.
Well this weekend, I hunkered down and did the 3 day potty training method with Ellie upon suggestion from her school. It would mean 2 days entirely focused on and devoted to Ellie, while I tried to help her break a 2 year habit of diapers.
I was dreading it. I expected a huge power struggle.
But instead I was introduced to my little kid, and I said goodbye to me baby.
She nailed it. She was totally ready, and as her sitter said, “She was just waiting for us to show her what to do.”
Ellie wanted Toy Story underwear more than any kid ever wanted character underwear, so she and I went online and I let her pick out which big girl (or boy/gender neutral) underwear she wanted to order.
They arrived yesterday, and I opened when I got home after a late night at the office, and I got all choked up.
Where did the time go?…How did I end up blessed with a kid that is awesome?…My sister was totally right!!! The love for her just keeps growing, and just when I thought I can’t love her anymore, I do.
After my moment, I had a nice long conversation with an old friend…and ended up getting all emotional about how much I love this kid, and how much she makes me want more kids, and a home, and a husband, and how I don’t want her to get stuck with just me forever.
She will certainly need someone to complain about me to. Every child does.
My friend just listened…poor guy, listening to a misty-eyed mom probably wasn’t on his list of things to do, but he humored me in a very kind way.
When Ellie got up this morning I gave her the underwear and she said,”thank you Mommy! You found them!!! They are perfect!”
And I thought, this is what my sister was talking about, and man is it amazing.
Life is good.